“I’m sick of it! I’m sick of it all!”  I yelled at the top of my lungs, alone in my room, angry at how much of a world wind my life had become!  You see, I was furious.   And I was tired of holding it all in.  So there I was, in my college dorm room throwing any and everything I could find.  From shoes to bottles to mirrors; I wanted it all broken!  I’m sure my roommate had to think I was a nut-case, but I was a woman gone mad and I didn’t care who knew.

The above episode was just one of my many crazy rampages.  It was only God who was able to save me from the turmoil my life was in.  For the past year, I had worked myself into an exhaustion that had me going half-insane!  Meetings after meetings; preparing for tests after tests; and finishing goals and making new ones; that’s all my life consisted of.  I felt like a robot because in all that time I did a lot of moving but never really got anywhere.  I was so busy working that I forgot to live.  So I foolishly refused to do anything that didn’t involve my goals.  

Family functions? No.  Spending time with God? No.  Hanging out with friends? No.

In my mind, I didn’t believe that successful people had fun.  I equated having fun with failure.  

I was a bona fide workaholic.

Instead of pushing me towards success, my workaholic ways were just driving me to an early grave. Before I knew it, I was already loosing hair in terrifying amounts, my skin was breaking out all over, I began gaining excessive weight, and sinking into a depression.  I no longer knew who I was.

My to-do list was all I had and it was ripping my life apart.

At that point, I knew I had to hand my struggles over to God.  So I started reading my Bible more and I fell in love with the scriptures.  Particularly, Matthew 6:33-34, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.  So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.  Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

I literally read that Scripture every single morning and night.  I even wrote it out on note cards and took them with me during the day.  It was my only chance of hope and freedom from my distressed mind.   As I let Jesus take the lead, my worries and obsession with success began to fade.  I could live again.  He died for me so that I could live.  How awesome and refreshing is that?  

Sadly, today’s society praises the workaholic.  The busier we are means the more important we are.  

Well sister, I came to tell you that it’s simply not true.  God does not care about how much money we make or how many awards we get if it’s distracting us from truly living for Him.  It’s totally okay to want success but it’s not okay to let it take over your life where you can no longer operate in the purpose that God has for you.   This isn’t some excuse to be lazy, it’s a reality check that we all need sometimes.  Live for Him and everything else will follow.

Stay encouraged, be blessed and I’m praying for you.