"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure." Psalm 147:3-5
I was rocking my son to sleep in the middle of the night, and an overwhelming amount of guilt came over me. Was I feeding him enough? Was I holding him enough? Was this journey of motherhood really my calling? Because at the moment I felt like I was utterly failing.
Oh, the guilt. So much guilt. The fear of messing up. The fear of not providing the absolute best for him. These emotions were all wrapped up in anxieties and struggles of something so new and unknown. Being a first-time mom, fear was the driver those first few weeks of trying to navigate my way through parenthood.
Through sleepless nights and never-ending tears, God revealed to me my need for Him and ultimately my need for His grace. In His strength, I will overcome all fears and anxieties that come with motherhood. I will fail. I will overreact, yell, discipline in anger, and sometimes my sin will get the best of me. But thankfully, God's grace will continue to meet me in my darkest places.
Dear tired and weary mama, our children need a mom who trusts that God is bigger than our sin, failures, and fears. They need a mom who throws herself at the feet of Jesus when parenting is too much to bear. They need a mom who clings to the Gospel all day and all night. It is there we will find grace upon grace and strength that will equip us to be the mothers He desires us to be.
Dear Father, You alone are my strength and salvation. Guide me through this journey of motherhood - help me to be more gracious and loving to my children as You are to me. The grace You have bestowed upon me is overwhelming - I do not deserve Your love or mercy, Father. Help my kids to see Your grace in me daily. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Are you weary on your journey of motherhood? Reflect on Psalm 147:10-11.
About the Author
Raegan Thornhill is wife to an amazing man of God and mom to her baby boy, Weston. She is the director, content manager, and writer at Whole Magazine. She believes cheesecake, snow, a cup of hot coffee, and an episode of Breaking Bad can fix any dreadful day. Her mission in life is to show women of all ages how they can be whole again through the Gospel of Christ. She longs for her writings to be a testament of the mercy and grace God has shown her. You can follow more of Raegan on her blog, Delighted In Him.
*Photo by Jesslyn Womack Photography