Your Marriage Is Not About You


“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Ephesians 5:22,25


As I examine my marriage, I see how big of a role selfishness plays. It rules my every motive and my every being…in fact, it’s at the core of my nature. As a society, we have come to believe that marriage is more about self-gratification and less about self-sacrifice. Resisting anything that might threaten our own desires or freedoms has become what’s normal and accepted. We dream and hope for the marital bliss we see on screen, but when that bliss is corrupted by sin in our own marriages, we want to flee.

Paul paints a different picture of marriage in Ephesians. He explains it is a selfless union rather than a selfish union…woman willfully submitting to her husband, and man graciously loving his wife like Christ has loved us (Ephesians 5:22-25). Our earthly marriages exist to be glimpses of the beautiful relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church. How we act in our marriages must reflect the goodness and grace of Christ, dying to ourselves and putting our spouses’ needs above our own.

Your marriage is not about you. The Westminster Shorter Catechism asks, “What is the chief end of man?” And the answer undoubtedly is “to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” Wives, if this is our calling throughout our daily lives—to glorify God—then why should it be any different in our marriages? Not only should we set selfishness aside in our marriages, but we should strive to glorify God with our husbands. Let it be for our joy that we make sacrifices for our spouses, forsaking our selfish desires, all for the glory of Christ.


Lord, thank You for this precious gift between husband and wife. Help me to realize my marriage is not about me—it is a selfless union with my husband, and ultimately, is it a display of the Gospel for Your glory. Give me the strength to set aside my own desires and to become more Christ-like every single day, serving my husband the way You have called me to. Amen.

Your Turn

In what ways have you been selfish to your husband? How can you glorify God in your marriage? Sit down with your husband this week and pray that God would give you grace, patience, and strength to praise Him in every aspect of your marriage.