Ask yourself: "Why do I want to date this person? What need do I have that this person can fulfill? Can he or she encourage me to go to my next level in God?" - Juanita Bynum (No More Sheets)

You notice every time you break-up with someone, you end up right back in the arms of yet another? 

That was the cycle in my life for years. Jumping from relationship to relationship was the norm for me. It went a little like this:

He complimented me. I melted and followed behind like I was super thirsty. We exchanged numbers. Clothes came off, before he asked my last name (if he even asked). Sometimes did that last one a few more times, and then he kept it moving.

There were even times I asked myself, "How can this guy just leave like that? I really went in, in bed!" Can you believe that? I actually would feel if I pulled out some magic sex tricks from my hat, he would stick around. I realized all too soon that it didn't matter if I worked it like I was some Rythmic Gymnist champion in the Olympics, his plans were never to stay. Yet, and still I continued to throw my body and my heart around like they had no value. I would ask myself why these men mistreated me, and blamed each of them for hurting me, and breaking my heart, but I was the only one to blame.

Why should he respect your body and heart, if you don't? You treat your heart like it isn't the crucial source to your physical living. You abuse and neglect it. Then when a man comes into your life and does the same, you blame him! But in fact you are to blame. You gave it to him.

That's how we treat God. He is the heart to our spiritual living. When we have a relationship with Christ, he beats inside of us. But when we don't have God, we don't have direction. And that's when we end up all over the place. Just a big hot mess, lost and alone.

What you need to realize is that, when you haven't let Christ heal and restore you, you leave yourself open and raw. The enemy continues to place people in your life that you think you need at that moment. He places a guy finer then the last guy in your path. A guy sweeter than the last. By the time you know it, you are all in-love again, and gave your heart away. . . again.

When are you going to stop this cycle! When will you realize that you will never find healing in man? Being restored and renewed is a supernatural act, that no human being is capable of doing. You will not find love, if you have not found God. No man will ever love you second, if he ain't loving Christ first!

The enemy targets a broken and needy heart. He thrives and survives on your pain, hurt and tears. He will continue to send you a false and cheap imitation of love. They will be fine, sexy, and put it on you in bed, and just rock your world—that's the problem. If you continue to let your emotions control your life, they will eventually destroy you.

It may look good, feel good, and taste good. But that doesn't mean it's good. And other times it can be good, but is it GOD? Did you seek guidance and direction from God that led you to where you are at, or did you seek direction from your emotions? If your life is in shambles right now, because of your choices , God ain't no where in there!

If you are a Christian woman, and you are dating, ask yourself, "Where do I see this going?" and "Why, am I dating Him?" Keep in mind, that if a man doesn't know Christ, he doesn't know love. Therefore, he can never love you, or anyone else for that matter.

Give your heart time to heal. Seek God out and give your heart and body to Him. Until your future husband comes, focus on falling in-love with Jesus. Stop letting your flesh get the best of you, and start wanting the best for you. Christ.

Stop complaining that all you attract are, "no-good men." Instead, ask yourself what is it about you that attracts those no-good men. What vibe are you giving off? If you are meeting men and jumping into bed with them the next day, what do expect?

God's best for you cannot be birthed out of your best for you! When you have disconnected yourself from God, your vision becomes obscured. That is why the Bible clearly tells us to trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding an in all our ways submit to him, and he will make our paths straight. (Prov. 3:5-6)

Is this man practicing integrity and self-control every day? He should be pushing you closer to Christ. And if he says he's a Christian, but you notice you are opening your legs more than your Bible, then you need to run. No, better yet, you need to flee
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. - 1 Corinthians 6:18

God has a unique purpose for you and it needs to be fulfilled—It will be fulfilled. This is your time. But God cannot work with you, or through you, if you continue to play the devil's games.

Make a vow to yourself and Christ that as of today, you will no longer sleep with the enemy. Don't just hear everyone tell you what you need, and what you deserve— start wanting the same for yourself. Love yourself enough, and respect yourself enough to let go of the hurt and pain that keeps you from living a life full of joy and not temporary happiness. Let God do a work in you. Let Him create in you a pure heart, and renew a steadfast spirit within you (Ps. 51:10).

When we begin to let God into our lives we begin to see things clearly. We begin to see that what we thought was good, was just a trick from the devil. But what is truly good and pure comes from our Father. Give your heart to the One that will protect and appreciate it. God loves you so much, and has a plan for your life. No man will ever complete you, when he didn't create you to begin with.

No man will ever give you worth or value. Christ has already given that to you.

So get off your back, and get in the Word!

Today, start dating Jesus Christ, and discover what a true gentleman He is.





Carmen Miller spent her life searching for empty substitutes for God. She tried to find her worth, value, and identity in things and men, only to be left empty and broken. Today, she shares her story of brokenness and the love Jesus relentlessly showed her. A wife, a mom, writer and a lover of her Creator, she is passionate about the body of Christ and being set free from the bondage's that hinder our walk with Christ. Follow her on Twitter @carmendmiller.