If any of you are like me, you’re single this holiday season. Maybe newly single or this is a repeat of what seems to take place every year. Did you ever notice that all the ‘couple’ holidays fall back to back? There’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and the dreaded…Valentine’s Day.
Last year at this time I was freshly coming out of a long-term relationship. Although it was long distance, we did our best to spend every holiday together. Even in the first few months of being apart, we habitually saw each other for the holidays.
Why did we feel the need to be in each other’s presence, spend quality time together, fake a happiness that was no longer there, and hide the pain that was?
Why is it that being single during the holidays is so much harder than being single on a random day of the week in the middle of April?
I think we often forget our wholeness in Christ. I know I do. We are told in Matthew 9:22 “Daughter, be encouraged! For your faith has made you WHOLE!” We have everything we need in Christ. He completes us. Not a guy that we are dating, not even our future spouse will complete us in the way that Christ does. He loves us despite the fact that we fail him every day. We are never alone. He is jealous for us. He longs to spend 24/7 with us. No man on earth wants to be around you all the time; no man on earth wants to be around me all that time. And no, it’s not going to be easy. As humans we crave that attention from the opposite sex because that is how we were designed.
I’ve struggled with it too. This past Thanksgiving was my first Thanksgiving back home in two or three years. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do emotionally, but I held up pretty well. Family, love, laughter, and food surrounded me! But as I was making my way home I was overcome with memories of the past few Thanksgivings. I literally had to pull over and cry out to God, asking Him to take away the hurt, the pain, and to give me peace in my heart. I can’t even begin to explain the feelings of peace I had when I woke up Friday.
Allow God to use you in your time of singleness, especially during the holidays. There’s so much good that can come out of this time. Have faith and believe that God has you in this season for a reason. We are reminded in Ecclesiastes 3 that there is a Time for Everything. Go out and volunteer. Take the money that you would’ve spent on presents for a significant other and bless someone in need. Have peace that your time to spend this holidays with someone is coming…in His time. Find comfort in Christ.
“May Your unfailing love, be my comfort” –Psalm 119:76