As a single woman approaching 30, I too have ran into days full of discouragement and I found myself asking, “When God when”? I remember thinking: I am a beautiful woman. I am the publisher of an amazing magazine. I am soon to be launching two other businesses. I live in a fine home. I drive a nice car. I have a beautiful daughter. I am passionate about ministry, and am totally committed to the things of God. In my mind any man would be blessed to have a woman like me! (laughs) How many of you will be honest & say, ‘Yea Carla, that sounds like me’?
Well, the facts are just that ladies, just ‘any’ man can’t have a woman of your caliber. We are beautifully and wonderfully made, created with destiny in mind, and God will not allow all of His hard work to be tainted by some Bozo. Can I get an Amen? We must stop allowing people to lead us to believe that we are missing something because we choose to be selective in who we date and not jump on the first thing coming. We are royalty; we are children of THE KING! (Note: Jesus is not a king but THE KING) When have you ever seen king’s kids accepting anything less than the best?
I am reminded of the movie Coming to America with Prince Akeem. He was the prince of Zamunda and never had to bathe himself, brush his teeth, iron his clothes, open his own doors; etc because he had servants who did that for him. He recognized his worth and even though it was a tradition in his family for his wife to be found for him, Prince Akeem switched up the game and said no I will find my own wife. He understood the importance of actually being in love with the woman he married versus getting married out of tradition. He didn’t want her to be drawn to his money or earthly possessions but he wanted her to love him simply for who he was. You will be surprised how many women marry men just because they have children by them, or for financial stability and now they are miserable wishing they were in our shoes. On the flip side, you will also be surprised how many women try to BUY men with their money! No ma’am, allow him to wine & dine you. For if he is going to be the head, surely he can pay for dinner! That was a side bar so I hope ya’ll caught that! (laughs)
My sisters, I am here to share with you THE POWER IN WAITING
. When God gave me this title so many things came to my mind. I thought of the power in waiting for a mate, the power in waiting for the manifestation of what God said (via prophesy or directly from God), the power in waiting before having sex, the power in waiting on your turn; etc. My mind began to flutter with many different things in which I could share with you all but the Holy Spirit led me to share with women the power in waiting on GOD for their husbands and to stop trying to choose one for themselves. OUCH! Truth be told, many women find it ok to approach men nowadays in an effort of helping them if they appear to be shy or possibly suffer from rejection. One thing I learned about men is they are hunters by nature and if there is something they want bad enough then trust me baby boy will learn how to open his mouth and approach you. Note: I never said what would come out of his mouth would be appropriate but real men aren’t afraid to speak up.
In sharing this, we as women must learn to relax and be anxious for nothing as the Word of God tells us and be reminded that good things come to those who wait. I know the Bible also says it is better to marry than to burn, but I would rather experience life as a single woman than to be married to the wrong man who beats me, cheats on me with other women and hinders me from reaching my destiny.
I want to provide you with some vital information as it relates to waiting:
Why Waiting is Beneficial:
■ Waiting helps develop your character and prepare you for the transition of becoming a wife
■ Waiting allows you to get to know God as not only your heavenly father but also as your spiritual father, for Christ must be your FIRST love
■ Waiting produces patience which you will need along this journey called life
How Do I Wait?
■ Wait IN God! Wait with joy, gladness & great expectation! Bind up the spirit of depression & refuse to not enjoy yourself in your current season while the Lord prepares you for where you are going! Joyce Meyer has a book, Enjoying Where You Are On the Way to Where You are Going.
I highly recommend this book if you struggle with contentment.
Prophetess Juanita Bynum also has a song called, “Don’t Mind Waiting” in which she shares with us how we are no longer waiting ON God but we are to wait IN Him. Allow God to share his heart with you by using this time as a single woman to give God ALL of you. Don’t hold anything back. Commit to a life of prayer, fasting, and holy living. Not saying you can’t have fun but always be mindful of the settings and who you connect to.
What To Do While Waiting?
Enjoy being with Jesus (you can do what you want, when you want, and how you want- of course according to God’s word, no foul play ladies). For example: Want to go to an all night prayer shut-in at your church? Or on a cruise with your girlfriends you are free to do so because there is no husband at home pouting because you chose to go to Jamaica without him! Want to cut your hair or dye it blonde? Feel free! Because when your husband comes he just may not be feeling that new look, but hey while you’re single feel free to explore!
■ Give yourself 100% to ministry
■ Go back to school
■ Start a book club
■ Learn how to cook (“You wanna be married & your nails too long to make a biscuit”- Prophetess Juanita Bynum- No More Sheets)
■Learn how to keep your house clean (Men don’t like a nasty home)
■ Get into God’s word and learn more about the God you serve
In closing, I pray I said something to help you along this journey. I will continue this series next week. Each Sunday I will release a new blog specifically for single women, following live videos for you to see me as I share with you my experiences as a single woman in ministry, a mother, business woman, and how I have altered my life to put God 1st and working on positioning myself to being found by my Boaz and rid myself of all these Bozos!