By Carla Cannon
I can recall times as a single woman I would always get so depressed during holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Lord knows especially Valentine’s Day! But it wasn’t until I really began to seek the Lord about my true condition because I knew this was no natural battle I was fighting but clearly this was spiritual warfare. It was almost as if my moods would change in an instance.
I can remember laying in bed crying all day or either trying to sleep all day and the minute the next morning (after the holiday) arrived I was suddenly all well and the depression and attacks would fade away.
"I wrestled often in my mind if a man would ever want to marry me because I had been with women and I didn’t have a “popular” testimony."
But although I seemed to be fine due to my many smiles and so forth through prayer I identified that I as a woman, a mom who was in search of her purpose was still broken in many areas of my life. I was filled with bitterness, hurt, pain and shame from my past. I wrestled often in my mind if a man would ever want to marry me because I had been with women and I didn’t have a “popular” testimony. But my testimony was that I used to be a promiscuous woman who later turned into a lesbian. Not to mention the fact that my father was in and out of my life and every man I had ever been with (except my daughter’s father but that relationship wasn’t the best either) had cheated on me.
What was wrong with me? Was I not pretty enough? Did I not make anyone happy? The answers to all of these questions that often ran consistently through my mind were totally irrelevant because the last thing Carla needed was any ordinary man but Carla needed Jesus. During prayer I remember hearing the Lord tell me He loved me. It was as if my heart literally felt the hand of Jesus telling me He was going to heal me. I was wrapped up in some much bondage and pain from being told I would never amount to anything by some family members and teachers. To growing up being labeled as ADHD and being put on Ritalin (supposedly a medication used to treat it) which only made me act as a zombie and made me itch and paranoid. All of these things in my past, I remembered.
But one day, the Lord rebuked the enemy long enough and God literally gave me a hunger and thirst for His word and for more of Him. John 1:1 reminds us that in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. Therefore what I had to learn to do was get into God’s word and find healing, to gain an understanding of who God really was because truly you can’t tap into who you really are until you learn who God is in your life who actually lives through you!
"God has a great plan for your life and He wants you to spend time with Him, and love on Him, and allow Him to be your all in all. "
My sisters, I said all of that to say, 2013 is the year to declare NO MORE HOLIDAY BLUES! God has a great plan for your life and He wants you to spend time with Him, and love on Him, and allow Him to be your all in all. Every desire you have if it is according to God’s will, in His timing it will come to past but we must learn the art of patience. My new book: The Power in Waiting teaches women (and men) how to embrace their process and understand how to not grow weary in well doing during the period of prophesy to experiencing manifestation.
So declare today that you will not cry again over what you don’t have, but you will focus on what you do have! Amazingly today, the Lord has placed some awesome women of God in my life that honestly I have to fight to get alone time because we all enjoy one another so much! My friend, God will do the exact same thing for you if you will let Him! Know who you are, whose you are and never settle for anything less than God’s best!