February is slated as a "month of love," It's a month where couples express their love towards each other while us singles wonder, "Where is our one?" I'm in the middle of navigating through singleness and trying solely to focus on God and lean on Him when I'm lonely. Sometimes it's easy, most of the time it's not. When you've gone through more rejection in your life than you can bear to count and we've uttered "I love you" than you care to remember, singleness is hard. We all want to be loved, treasured, and valued. When someone comes into our life and says those words, a part of us wants to believe it. Until this person is no longer in our life and we wonder if we'll ever experience it again.
Rejection is painful. Unrequited love is devastating.
Many of us walk around in life feeling unloved. We don't hear it enough or experience it enough. And some of us believe the lie we aren't worthy of being loved again after the love we extended wasn't returned. In my own life, I have believed this lie. I believed it to the point where I was willing to do anything to earn someone else's love. I fought and tried effortlessly to keep others in my life who weren't mine to be kept. In the end, I was abandoned and I wanted to give up on love. It were in these moments when God gently nudged my heart and drew me back to Him.
"God will use our rejection to restore our relationship with Him."
Looking back, I see why things happened in my life the way they did. God wanted my attention and He was going to remove everything in my life to gain it back. He wanted me to put Him first. In retrospect, I had abandoned my first love. We all fall into this trap. As women we like attention and the feeling of being needed and wanted by a man, but these men aren't Jesus.
We are flawed and broken. Two halves can't make a whole. We can only be made whole in Christ.
This was challenging for me as I've transitioned through seasons of singleness. Learning to put Him first and pursue and seek Him in everything, is where God has me now. He wants me to pursue Him passionately in everything. The more I seek Him, He reminds me I am not defined by any man or anything from my past. He calls me by name everyday and reminds me He loves me. While this truth hasn't always sustained me through depression and loneliness, it has been a beautiful reminder in my brokenness. Regardless of what others have done to me, He still loves and cares for me.
"God loves us as we are, His love is requited for eternity."
In Him, we are accepted, needed, and wanted. Open your heart and experience the fullness of Christ's love.