By Salem Afandigeh


From batting eyelashes to dressing to attract, little girls are subtly encouraged to use their feminine appeal to manipulate and get attention. Sadly, this doesn't get any better with age, as we see a trend of teenage girls that are perfected in the art of flirting who later grow up to be women that constantly draw attention to themselves.

Flirting is not solely about getting the attention of a certain guy, it is about drawing attention to ourselves.

First time I ever considered that maybe this wasn't an example of biblical femininity was about 3 years ago when I was reading through Proverbs 7 and 8 and I heard the Holy Spirit's conviction in my heart that I was more of a proverbs 7 woman that I was of the proverbs 8 woman (ouch!) A little background about those two passages of scripture; Proverbs 7 describes the adulterous woman who seduces with her words and gets men to pay attention to her because of all she is on the outside, while Proverbs 8 describes Wisdom as a woman who is a little less obvious on the outside but so very rich with power, insight, and beauty on the inside.

I remember immediately arguing with my Spirit that I would never ever do what the Proverbs 7 woman did! But was reminded that it was more about who she was than what she did. The Holy Spirit convicted me about how much in my every day life I drew attention to myself instead of the LORD and I was convicted, humbled, and led to my knees.

See ladies, the LORD tells us what should attract people to us, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4). Having a “gentle and quiet Spirit” doesn't necessarily mean we are reserved and quiet all the time because some of us have more “loud personalities”, but it doesmean that we know when to speak and when to be silent. It means our words are used to build up rather than to tear down. It means that there is a certain mystery about us that intrigues people and makes them want to know more. The very fact that we are ladies means God took a little bit more time in creating us with curves and all so we could be inherently beautiful (even on those days when we don't feel like it) but if our exterior is all that people notice about us when they spend time with us, then we might need to re-evaluate our hearts. Jesus within us never stays bottled up! He shines through us and makes us so beautiful and magnetic to a world that doesn't know what true beauty is.

One of my favorite verses about anti-flirtatious lifestyle has been “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” Songs of Solomon 8:4 and for me it applies not only in relationships with guys, but in friendships and every time I am surrounded by people. I love how practical it can become because I know at the exact moment I am about to say something for the sole purpose of making people like/love me more (we all do). Jesus shines through us and people see that. The more time we spend with Him, the more we reflect Him, and like Jesus who never sought to draw attention to Himself but always pointed back to the Father, we ought to do the same.