By Marquisha Harden



The definition of ‘hating’ is the act of being consumed by jealousy and envy. Some people are categorized as haters because they feel insecure about their current situation, so they gossip and slander other people’s accomplishments. Some speak badly of others because they are ‘hating’ on their status, ministry, personality, relationships, jobs, car, you name it. It is time to embrace our brothers and sisters in Christ, instead of pushing them away because you desire to be in their shoes.

You never know what a person has gone through to reach their current season in life. The question is if you were in his or her shoes, would you be able to walk in them? Would you be able to pass the tests designed for him or her? Would you be able to meet the needs to obtain everything he or she has? The answer is probably no.

The area most people are guilty of hating’ on, is other people’s relationships! Men and women try understanding why someone marries a person of a different ethnic background, complexion, social status, build (skinny vs. not so skinny), etc. Some have received a memo there is a shortage of men or women of the opposite sex, so they scheme and plot against their brother or sister to ensure there is someone left for them. Fortunately, there are no shortages! God has designed the perfect mate for you. Stop ‘Hating!’ We are all in this walk together! It is bad enough we have to fight against powers and principalities in the unseen world; we should not succumb to ‘hating’ on each other. We are all charged to build each other up, not tear the other down with words and dirty looks.

James 3:16, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist there will be disorder and every vile practice.”

Although we try to conceal our thoughts, the truth comes out when we hear our sister has lost weight, but we have yet to compliment her. Our best friend is now engaged, but we have yet to offer congratulations. Our co-workers earned a recent promotion, but we have yet to acknowledge their accomplishments. While worrying about the why’s and how’s of their journey, we neglect our own.

If you’re consumed with jealousy, then you aren’t focused on what God requires, because your physical and spiritual development has been compromised.

Proverbs 14:30, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”

Galatians 5:19-21, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

David desired Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba, and committed adultery, as a result. He ordered Uriah’s death, by placing him on the front line during combat. Later, he married Bathsheba and she became pregnant, but God told him their first born would surely die… and He did. They were later blessed with their son Solomon (II Samuel 11). Is your jealousy worth a life? There are plenty of fish in the sea and God has designed the person for you. You don’t have to lust after someone else’s spouse, or get jealous of the fact that you are still in your single season. Just wait for God to deliver.

Think about the story of Naaman and his leprosy. After Elisha healed him and sent him away, Elisha’s soldier desired to have some of Naaman’s possessions. Against Elisha’s instructions, the soldier, Gehazi, followed Naaman and requested some of his treasures. (Naaman previously offered, but Elisha refused to take his treasures). As a result of Gehazi’s greed and disobedience, he and his family were plagued with the same leprosy Naaman was cured of (II Kings 5).

Like David and Gehazi, we can easily get consumed with having someone else’s riches without fully understanding the price he or she had to pay; let alone the price we’ll pay to obtain their lifestyle. We see our friends with what we believe is the picture perfect marriage, but we aren’t fully aware of the “behind the scenes” issues they have overcome to have a successful marriage. Or those who were recently promoted even though they were previously passed over multiple times during their process and had to work extra hard and have faith in God that he would promote them. David could have had any SINGLE woman he wanted, but he chose to fall for a married woman. Naaman was rich, but what good were his riches if he didn’t have his health? His riches couldn’t even pay for healing!

Everyone has to go through their own processes. We can’t be consumed by wanting what others have, because you just may have to go through their storm. We have to be content with whom or what God has given us. Get consumed with God’s word and use it to build your brothers and sisters up. Get consumed with walking in your purpose and use it to give God glory. God knows your needs and desires. Walk according to HIS will and allow Him to reveal which people, places, and things you should desire. And please, Stop Hating!

Psalm 37:4, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”