|Guest post by Jasmine Hernandez|
Tonight I felt my heart break. Not some figurative emotional state that we often succumb to describing when our feelings have been hurt by someone. I felt the literal pangs of heartache and a numbing sensation encapsulated my chest cavity as I drove home this evening. Then I heard God’s voice telling me it was time to let him heal me completely.
I’ve allowed myself to become so drained and feel so empty. I’ve lived so much of life on autopilot. Robotic responses after there are no tears left to cry. Then He told me to write. He instructed me to use my words to express this heartache to reach out to someone else who feels the same pain.
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
As women, we are so impatient when we want something so badly. We grow even more impatient when God has given us glimpses of what could be but hasn’t brought into fruition. We see plant these seeds with so much hope and forget that great things take time before they even sprout. Yet, we grow impatient because they haven’t completely grown for harvest.
This is all especially true when it comes to love. God gives us these visions, let’s call them premonitions, of what we deserve. Then He places the person whom He has deemed worthy of our gifts. And what do we do when that person seems to be waning? We impatiently involve ourselves with someone else whose presence becomes like pesticides to our bountiful harvest. And the seed that was planted with hope that God has been watching over begins to die. We don’t even notice the leaflets sprouting from the earth. We seem to forget that a plentiful harvest takes ample sunshine as well as rain. We get so blinded by the downpour that we find ourselves in that we overlook the harvest and begin planting weeds and thorns amongst the fruit God wants us to have.
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. I Corinthians 1-:13
If only we could remember that things that take time. For every action there is a reaction. And though err is human nature we forget what it feels like to be hurt when we’ve hurt someone else. The harvest we’ve destroyed hurts worse than we do when we witness its destruction.
He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
I’ve been chastising myself for my impatient ten-fold. Crying to God and praying that these tears will bring back the life which I so easily destroyed with one thoughtless and emotionless action.
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
But now I must shift my focus.
To lose one harvest isn’t the end of the world. A good farmer plants many seeds for harvest. If we only focus on the one seed we planted in hopes of a relationship, we blindside ourselves from tended to our other crops. The farmer doesn’t cry when he loses one harvest because he knows he will be sustained through the other harvests which he tended.
What about the seed planted to harvest a true relationship with God? Are we truly tending to all of our crops as much as we are the one we’ve already ruined with impatience?
Impatience has some silver-lining. It redirects our focus to what we never should have turned from in the first place. Instead of begging God to bring back a lost harvest, I’m learning to trust Him to redeem the harvests which I’ve let struggle for growth because I’ve only kept the ground fertile for that one harvest.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4
Let your tears from the loss of one harvest water the crops of the ones you’ve been neglecting. Let them fall on the fertile ground of your relationship with God and He will help till the ground for many more harvests. For the tears He cries out when we turn from Him are greater than any of the tears we can ever cry. In every teardrop is His healing power. Let God use your tears for harvest.
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. I Peter 5:6-7
Jasmine Hernandez is a young woman growing everyday in her walk with Jesus. After years of struggling to define Christianity by her own terms with dictionaries and textbooks, God met Jasmine at her well on Valentine's Day. She was saved countless times over the span of her 23-years, but this time it was different. She actively writes for a Christian-blog, is a member of a spoken word/poetry group, and does freelance content writing.