Loving Each Other in the Midst of Chaos

Beloved, Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth– for your love is more delightful than wine-Song of Solomon 1:2
I am always talking with my girlfriends about how to find time for your spouse when life is so hectic already.  It’s a difficult topic and one that is quite sensitive but one that absolutely has to be discussed!  It’s hard to find time for one another I know this first hand.  My husband and I co-own a business, have three kids, work freelance projects, and serve in our church. So yeah our life is chaotic, but in all of this we still manage to make time for each other at least one day of the week. How do we do it? Well, I’m glad you asked!

We drop the kids off at school and plan a date during the day
We schedule this at least one day out of the week. Because we both have flexible schedules this works for us, if your schedule is not so flexible try this once a month by taking a sick day at work.
Let the kids be late to school, early morning loving is important!  Let the kids sleep in and write a brief note to the teacher, you’ll be so glad you did! While this certainly can’t be the norm once, twice, or three times during the school year won’t hurt!

Hang out with your spouse even on a school night
Don’t limit yourself to weekends. We attend concerts, movies, and dinner alone on school nights.  I make sure the kids are fed and homework is done before we leave and have a trustworthy sitter that makes sure the kids are in bed on time, it makes for a hot date night and when you get home the kids are already sleep which makes for an even hotter late night…oh la la!

Take a vacation alone
We plan two vacations a year without our children, one is an anniversary and the other is whenever we choose.  We don’t make it a big deal either, a vacation is what you make it, it could be staying at a local hotel for three days with nothing but room service or an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii…. you decide!

Enlist the help of friends and family
Call on friends and family members to help take care of your kids. Switch off babysitting your friends kids and let them watch yours… allowing the kids to sleep overnight at a friend’s house could be a great night for you and your spouse!

Be creative
Don’t get stuck in the hum drum of dating while married…dinner and a movie, go to sporting events, have a picnic in the park, get mani’s and pedi’s together, go to a spa, watch movies at home with all the junk food you can muster or light some candles and take a long hot bath… have fun with it…the more fun you have on the date, the more fun you have at the after party!

Forget the Rules
All is fair is love and war right…well let’s make love not war! Get rid of all the rules, which are really just excuses. Open your mind to the possibilities and have fun with it! Lock the door if the kids are awake and turn up the music, call in and reschedule the meeting, and find a location outside of your bedroom. Take it to another level and crank it up a notch!

Be excited about loving your spouse bring the joy and fervor back!  If one week goes by without alone time, I start missing the man I fell in love with! I can’t wait until a day comes that I can have him all to myself, and if the day doesn’t come well, I steal some time a lunch hour…coffee break whatever I can get, its that important to me and our marriage is stronger than ever!  Yes ladies, men want to love us body and soul…I think a little bit more body than soul…but, hey, I’m game!

Tiffany Fulcher is a writer, entrepreneur, speaker, and a woman with a heart for God. As a mother and wife she understands God's desire for women to walk in their authoritative influence not just in their families but in the entirety of the world. Her passion is to encourage women to live by God's design and purpose for their lives. Her words to live by for all women is Impact, Impart, Influence.