The majesty and splendor of our loving God had grown dull in my life.  Flooded with images of couples, engagements, weddings, and families I found myself yearning for companionship and conversation.  I knew I needed God, more than ever, but I found myself being drawn to the charm, attention, and sweet words of another. 


It became harder and harder to open my Bible.  I knew that I would be met with conviction.  My feeble attempts to rationalize and justify my wayward thoughts would not stand a chance under the light of His Truth.  After all, God had specifically told me to “say goodbye” nearly three weeks earlier, but it was honestly a lot easier to write than to do.


The ensuing days were bittersweet as I dealt with the consequences of indulging my flesh and disobeying God. I felt myself drifting away from God.  The separation weighed heavy in my spirit, but sadly I could not bring myself to obey God.  I felt like Paul  —“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it.  Instead I do what I hate.” Romans 7:15 (NLT).  I was at war with myself.  I had no peace.


Finally, in a state of sheer exhaustion I faced God.  I faced the conviction.  I faced and acknowledged the pain of my rebellion.  In that place of repentance, the undeniable presence, peace, and love of God overwhelmed me.   He reminded me that I was His daughter and He was my God and He was here for me.  I received faithful instruction as I spent time with God in His Word.


“Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set for us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.”—Hebrews 12:1-2 (NLT)


God helped me to realize that I had fallen into a state of idolatry and allowed my focus to stray.  I no longer had an ability or desire to concentrate on the tasks God had assigned me to do.  I was unable to “run my race” because I was weighed down, tripped up, and entangled in sin.

    

So, today recognize that the weight of our sin has the potential to separate us from God.  Our fellowship with God is disrupted by our disobedience.  We can’t afford to be weighed down and entangled by sin.  Each leg of our race is important.  Each leg of our race is valuable.  If there is something or someone in your life that is causing you to sin then ask God to equip you with what you need do His will and remove it.  God has designed a race for each of us to run.  Sometimes that race may not seem fair, worthy, or important, but God needs us to run OUR race.  Don’t compromise the outcome of your race by choosing to knowingly bear the weight of sin and disobedience.  Don't let that "thing" trip you up again.  Pray for a change of heart.  Stay close to God.  Keep your eyes on Jesus.  There is value in that race you are running.









Ashley Ivery is a single mother of two brilliant children, Aiden and Devyn, with an overwhelming desire to empower women and help them to realize the importance of a relationship with God.  Through her writing she hopes to encourage women to claim their strength and value in Christ.  Ashley serves as the Residential Listing Partner for Team Harris Real Estate.  She graduated from Fayetteville State University in 2012 with a BS in Psychology.  Her motto is:  "Be Authentic.  Live Honestly.  Dispel Light."