"I have joy and peace knowing His word is real and true. He loved me the same when I was a broken prostitute, suicidal porn star. He never left me."

I first heard of Brittni Ruiz by watching her testimony on XXXChurch.com. It had been flooding my newsfeed that day, and at that point I knew it was God.

All the years my husband had struggled with pornograpy had pretty much left a sour taste in my mouth when it came to porn stars. I had seen them as the enemy. I was convinced they were in cahoots with Satan himself.

I remember as I listened to Brittni's moving story, I felt an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach as I thought to myself, "Was this one of the many women my husband use to watch as I slept in the other room?" At that point I wasn't sure to continue watching the video, however out of obedience I continued.

As I got comfortable on the couch, I had no clue I was going to react how I did. Where was the Kleenex when you needed it? I wasn't even three minutes into her testimony — when I began to sob.

For so long I judged women like her, never realizing that I too was like her. Broken, hurt, and alone searching for empty substitutes for Jesus in the world.

At that very moment, I began to thank God for Brittni's life. The same woman who just minutes before, I felt uneasy watching, I embraced. This was not Brittni Ruiz the former porn star. This was Brittni Ruiz, a child of God. Daughter of the Most High. Not my enemy, but my beautiful sister in Christ.

Brittni's story is so powerful. A story of brokenness, healing, grace, hope, and love.

I was truly honored to interview her and learn more about her seasons of brokenness and how she was made whole in Jesus Christ! Check out our interview below.

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W: Can you share with our readers a little bit about your upbringing?

B: I grew up in a broken home where Jesus was never spoken about. There was never a conversation (good or bad) about Jesus, we simply did not know him. As the oldest of three children my mother was naturally the hardest on me. To avoid getting in trouble, I became an over achiever, a “perfectionist.” This led me down a road of depression and anorexia. At the age of 16, I was in a mental institution in attempt to receive “healing” for my eating disorder. My childhood was tumultuous. As a little girl I would cry myself to sleep.

W: How did you come to know Jesus personally?

B: I was in the industry for 3 years when I went to church for the first time in 12 years. I had gone maybe 10 - 15 times when I was 11. I went because I was curious and decided to attend since my grandfather was already on his way there.

At this point of my life I was in a deep pit, I was completely broken and suicidal. From the outside you would never know how I felt because “professionally” I was on top of the charts. I hid my inner emotions from other people as much as I could.

According to online sources, at one point I had an estimated net worth of $5.5 million. I was named one of Maxim’s top 10 Porn Stars and my life looked perfect to others from the outside. But I had so much self-hatred that I began to search out avenues to numb my pain: drugs, alcohol, and cutting. It ultimately all left me even more broken and absolutely broke. When I left the industry I had maybe $5 to my name.

My first time visiting church I went up to the altar and said the prayer of salvation. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, but I was hungry for more. I longed for this love that people said Jesus offered. The most amazing thing about my journey for the next 3 years (before I would finally get freed from the industry and healed from my brokenness) is that Jesus used people in my life to continue steering me towards Him. There are no barriers or obstacles for God. God will use anything or anyone to fulfill His plan. I gave Him permission to work in my life that one day at the altar call and He fought for me daily.

God used my then boyfriend-who soon after I began dating became my pimp- to give me my first bible. I read the entire New Testament within a few months and couldn’t get enough. I didn’t understand it all, but every time I read it I would feel a tingling sensation in my body. A series of other events occurred over the next three years that led me to where I am today. Now looking back I can see how God is waiting for us to make choices that give Him permission to work in our lives, if we are willing. He gives us the freewill to choose Him, or not. It was my choice to go to church, accept Him into my heart, read the bible, and pray and all of this God honored and used for my good.


W: When were you first introduced to Porn?

B: The first time I ever saw one I was about 11 years old. Then I was introduced to the act of filming porn when I was 18.


W: At what point in your life did you realize it was time to get out?

B: I wanted to get out of the industry after 1 ½ years of being in it. I just didn’t know how to leave. I was afraid because I had all these negative thoughts come to mind like “Who will hire me?” “Will I ever be able to do anything with my life?” “Where will I live?” And I felt so guilty and condemned for what I was doing and not worthy of anything better.


W: What now? Are you planning on using your story to minister to other women in the Porn industry?

B: Yes; God has been opening doors of opportunity that I never imagined possible! After sharing my testimony for a video the XXX Church created, I was contacted by “The View” and appeared live for an interview with the cast. I had the opportunity to talk about Jesus on a public, large platform where millions of people heard my testimony. I love sharing with everyone what God has done in my life and how He can do it – and will do it!- for anyone who seeks Him. Every opportunity I get I feel so blessed to be able to share the love of Jesus with those who don’t know Him or to remind people that Jesus really loves us all regardless of our sin. When we come into true repentance and accept Him into our lives it’s a new beginning!

I am also currently in the midst of writing a book where I will share details of my life that will expose a lot of things I know people will relate to. It will include everything from my childhood to my time in the porn industry, prostitution, drugs, suicide attempts, and even witnessing the murder of my ex-boyfriend. I had a really dark past and the drastic change to where I am now can only be described as “miraculous” in every sense of the word. I want to bring hope to people and that Jesus is real and He can help you despite whatever you’re currently facing in life.


W: Can you share with us some of your favorite Bible verses that really spoke to your heart when you first began your walk with Christ?

B: I repeat these everyday, to this day.

Phillipians 4:13
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Romans 8: 37
“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”


W: What advice do you have to young girls out there struggling with Porn addictions or the idea of becoming a Porn star?

B: For the girls who are struggling with Porn addictions:

Get involved in your local church, and tell someone who you can trust about your addiction. This person must be someone who will keep you accountable and pray for you. Don’t hide the addiction or the enemy will use this as a stronghold in your life while you remain in the dark about it. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Speak the truth and the truth will set you free.

For the girls who are thinking about or desire to enter the Porn Industry:

You are worth so much more than what you think you are worth! You are beautiful. I advise you not to do it. Please don’t do it. I look at these girls like my little sisters and I would tell them to learn from my mistakes. It’s really not fun. It feels very dark in that place.

Taking your clothes off to be with multiple men will leave you hopeless broken and empty. I remember hating myself. I didn’t have one ounce of love for myself. No one in that industry is going to reach his/her hand down and help pick you up. They’re going to watch you go down and kick you. Research other avenues. I found what I yearned for (fulfillment, acceptance, joy, peace, and love) in Jesus. I know these same women can find the same thing I did. Reach out and take a step of faith and take that hand that is reaching out for you…and that hand is Jesus.


W: I love the smile on your face when you nearly shout out how you discovered your worth in Jesus alone. So many of us searched for empty substitutes for Jesus most of our lives. Today, what does it mean to you, and what do you want to tell that girl out there searching for her worth and value in the world?

B: For 7 years I was searching to fill a void I had with sex, drugs, slitting of my wrists, and what did I gain from it all? I wasted 7 years of my life searching for love and satisfaction in all the wrong places when the answer was Jesus all along.

Jesus will never leave nor forsake us and He loves us the same yesterday today and forever. Psalm 27:10 “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.”

I have joy and peace knowing His word is real and true. He loved me the same when I was a broken prostitute, suicidal porn star. He never left me. I needed to take the leap of faith; I needed to reach out. It makes me feel so thankful that I found him. I want to encourage all people to take a leap of faith and take a step into church. Open the bible. Let God speak to you. It may not make sense and you may think, “How am I going to hear God?” I promise you, you will find him. Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” I want the world to understand that God loves them so much. He wants you to succeed and prosper and He wants the best for you. Take a step of faith and let God work His best in your life.

You can connect with Brittni by following her on Twitter @BrittniRuiz and www.BrittniRuiz.com.


Watch Brittni's testimony here:







Carmen Miller spent her life searching for empty substitutes for God. She tried to find her worth, value, and identity in things and men, only to be left empty and broken. Today, she shares her story of brokenness and the love Jesus relentlessly showed her. A wife, a mom, writer and a lover of her Creator, she is passionate about the body of Christ and being set free from the bondage's that hinder our walk with Christ.