Get Out Of Judgement And Into Curiosity

I have seen a lot of homes in the five years I’ve worked within the real estate industry.  I have developed a keen eye for what will sell and what won’t sell in our market based on market research.  Staging is an important aspect of the selling process, but it can be a sensitive topic.


No one wants to hear that their coveted baby doll collection actually detracts from the marketability of their home.  It’s difficult to convince sellers that their pink dining room might pose a few issues for prospective buyers.  One of the most important things I seek to remember prior to advising any client in this respect is:


Get out of judgment and into curiosity.


I once had a client who kept a bucket of rocks in her foyer right by the front door.  It was unappealing and held absolutely no purpose in my eyes.  I approached the seller from a position of curiosity as opposed to judgment.  I asked questions.  She disclosed that for years she endured domestic violence.  The rocks represented strength and stability.  Plus, if her ex showed up on her front porch she wouldn’t hesitate to “stone” him—hence the location. 


I would have never known the significance of those rocks had I rushed to judgment.  It’s possible I would have damaged our relationship by seeking to advise her without recognizing the implication of those rocks. 


We must seek to “get out of judgment and into curiosity” as we share the Good News of Christ.

Our ability to communicate effectively stems from how well we listen to and assess the needs of others.   We must seize opportunities to ask questions and go deeper within each of our interactions. 


So, today remember to shift from a position of judgment into curiosity.  We are all human.  We each have a story.  Learning the “who, what, when, where, why, and how” of a person conveys genuine interest in the relationship. We aren’t capable of changing people, but we can support the work of the Holy Spirit by seeking discernment and waiting for Him to open the doors of communication for us.  We can’t just be good communicators of Christ.  We must be good listeners for Christ so that we can intercede on their behalf through prayer.   John C. Maxwell said it best, “People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.”  Some of the deepest cries for help are hidden beneath rebellion, negativity, indifference, and complaints.  Asking questions help us to unearth the person behind the façade while meeting their true needs and cultivating deeper relationships.  


Ashley Ivery is a single mother of two brilliant children, Aiden and Devyn, with an overwhelming desire to empower women and help them to realize the importance of a relationship with God. Through her writing she hopes to encourage women to claim their strength and value in Christ. She graduated from Fayetteville State University in 2012 with a BS in Psychology. Her motto is: "Be Authentic. Live Honestly. Dispel Light."