I’ve never allowed myself to want. I’ve never allowed myself room to dream. I’ve never given myself permission to hope for more than what I deemed reasonable, fair, deserved, or earned. 

I just didn’t believe that God was truly concerned about what I wanted.   

One day I read a story of a blind beggar named Bartimaeus. When Bartimaeus realized that Jesus was passing through his city he yelled for Him.  He cried out to Him.  People shouted for Bartimaeus to be quiet, but he only shouted louder for Jesus. When Jesus heard him, he stopped, and requested that Bartimaeus come to Him. That’s when Jesus asked…

 “What do you want me to do for you?”—Mark 11:51 (NLT)

That blind beggar Bartimaeus stated, “I want to see.”

Jesus knew what Bartimaeus needed, but He was concerned about what Bartimaeus wanted.  He took the time to not only stop, but to ask what Bartimaeus wanted so I imagine He cared. I imagine He still cares.

I may not be blind, but much like Bartimaeus what I truly want is to see.

I want to see myself as God sees me. 
I want to see who I am in Christ.
I want to see what He wants me to do.
I want to see how I can best serve Him.
I want to see His purpose for me. 
I want to see. 

If Jesus were to ask you, “what do you want me to do for you?” would you know?  Can you clearly identify what you want?  Are you so focused on what you don’t want that you have no idea what you truly desire?  Adopt a Bartimaeus attitude and call on Jesus.  Ask God to help you identify what you want.  He cares.  Give yourself permission to want.  Give yourself permission to desire.  Stop running away from your dreams.  Stop burying your desires under a bunch of activities. That discontentment is a direct challenge from God to dream.  Stop limiting yourself to just what you can understand or wrap your mind around.  God planted that desire in your heart, but you must be brave enough to acknowledge it and go for it.  God wants to do something for you today.  

What do you want?




[photo credit: Shannon Lee Miller]


Ashley Ivery is a single mother of two brilliant children, Aiden and Devyn, with an overwhelming desire to empower women and help them to realize the importance of a relationship with God. Through her writing she hopes to encourage women to claim their strength and value in Christ. She graduated from Fayetteville State University in 2012 with a BS in Psychology. Her motto is: "Be Authentic. Live Honestly. Dispel Light."