I love people. I am a talker, and I love nothing more than to sit down with someone and have a conversation. The intricacies of the different stories and lives we live fascinate me and it blows my mind to see how big our God is and all the ways that he works so precisely in our individual circumstances. The way that each person expresses and describes their story differently is so interesting and telling of their personality, and I could watch and listen all day long.
I would be lying if I said I never wondered what other people thought of me. I know as well as any other Truth-seeking Christian that the only opinion that matters is God's, however, this doesn't keep me from wondering how I come across to the world. We are human. We see each other and immediately our brains process some sort of information: She's cute. She's funny. She looks mad. What's up with her teeth? Her legs are really short. I like her hair. I think she has two different eyes. Her nostrils are big.
We can be brutal without intention. There have been a few times recently that I have felt uncomfortable while I was carrying on a conversation with someone whom I've recently met, and I noticed them looking at various things on my face while I talked instead of making eye contact with me. It made me extremely aware of every thing I did and I wondered what their thoughts were. Did they hear anything I said? Was my breath bad? Did I have broccoli in my teeth? My biggest concern is always if I seem genuine. Now, wait a second before you go thinking that I'm a phony. The reason I worry about my authenticity is because I don't talk as easily as I type. I stumble for the words I'm looking for, and in the silence of the search, my comfort level goes into the danger zone.
I am not so much a fan of being vulnerable.
But I realized today that as much as I look to others for their approval or acceptance or just to feel like I'm not alone in being a weirdo, it's not about them. And it's not about me. I can't keep living day in a day out wondering what that girl was looking at on my chin, or why someone stopped following me on twitter, or how come that friend of fifteen years stopped calling. These thoughts should be fleeting and my mind and heart need to stay focused on being who God is calling me to be...even if that means it's the girl who shares too much and cries too much and uses the word awesome too much. As long as it's pointing to Him, and my heart is soft and pliable for His hands to work with, I'll be ok.
And He won't let me down. He won't let you down either. Trust Him and be who you are; everyone else is already taken.
Truthfully, we are all so consumed in our own flaws and too busy worrying about them to notice anyone else's. Wouldn't it be so incredibly mundane and boring if we all looked, acted and thought the same? Jesus came so that we may have life and have it in the full! So I think it is far past time to stand boldly and firmly as the person He created us to be!
Lovely. Brave. Spirit-filled. Honest. Joyful. Faithful. Kind. Peaceful. Self-controlled.
You can't strike out when you are true to yourself.
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
* * *
Author: Emilee Lowe
Emilee is a Christ following wife and mother who lives in Wilmington, North Carolina. She is a former hair stylist who is committed to being used by God in whatever way He sees fit.