Spring Cleaning Your Marriage
Longing to see the first robin, I looked out my window everyday in hopes of an early arrival of spring. It has been such a long, bitter cold winter here in South Dakota. It began with 3 feet of snow in October, 2013 and it's still snowing as of today into the first week of May. So as you can see, after 8 months of winter weather, I have certainly longed, more than ever, to see that first robin. But it has felt as though it will never come.
There are many times in our lives when love, happiness and contentment seem that they too, will never come. Hatred, depression and restlessness overwhelm us. Satan is great at using these emotions against us. He uses them when we’re single and more so when we’re married. Because of this, we find ourselves longing for something better.
Unfortunately, we look out our window into the world to fix problems within our marriage. We refuse to let Jesus our Lord and Savior be our guide. We hold on to certain Hollywood ideals of what marriage should be. Like the idea that married couples never have sex. If they do, it’s only for a holiday, birthday or because the hubby was a good boy and took the trash out. Comedy shows have made this the norm, so now, too many couples think it’s funny to joke about how little they respect each other’s needs. Then before they know it, the bleakness and cold of winter enters their marriage. And just like those long winter months it’s hard to endure.
But why do we endure long winters? Because we know that winter will pass. It may still be cold and even snow again but we are renewed and invigorated just the same with the longer days approaching. We begin our spring cleaning throwing away old and worn out items. Opening the windows and letting the fresh air of spring in. Dusting, vacuuming and cleaning everything in sight. When the house is spotless it is a great feeling of accomplishment and self worth for our hard work.
Spring cleaning your marriage is no different and it begins with you. If you’re longing for something better start by spring cleaning your idea of marriage. Ask yourself…
Have you truly opened the door wide for Jesus to come in to be your Lord and Savior? Do you let His word guide your marriage through life’s most difficult hours? If not, do so today for there is no guarantee for tomorrow.
We can read in James 4:14 (NASB) Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.
How do we let Jesus in? Acts 2:38 (NASB) Peter said to them, "Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Do you understand and communicate with your husband about his needs and yours? This means talking about sex because your needs are not the same as his. You must keep an open mind and understand that the marriage bed is undefiled. That means you are allowed to enjoy it and become one with each other.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (NASB) The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Do you feel sex between a wife and husband is God given or do you use it as a weapon to get what you want? We see this idea of marriage on television all too often. The wife is mad so she snaps her fingers and tells her husband, “none for you tonight!” The “husband in the doghouse” scenario should never be done in a marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:5 (NASB) Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
In the scriptures we can read that sex between a husband and wife is a commandment to be held in love, kindness and respect. To do so otherwise separates us from God. The attitude of using sex as a weapon disrespects our husband as head of the house and the wife is certainly not being in submission to him as the scriptures teach.
Love, happiness and contentment only comes when Jesus is our source of guidance, not the popular opinion our friends or of Hollywood. Choose to be happy. Look for reasons to be together rather than reasons you should separate.
It is never too late to do a little spring cleaning.