When one thinks of abuse often times, the first thing that comes to mind is physical or verbal abuse. But there are many forms of abuse that some of us live with daily. A lot of times the daily abuse one may deal with goes beyond a quick fix to become a habit. Our need to be in control is something that we wrestle with constantly and it can be a big issue in our relationship with God; as well as other relationships or situations in our lives. The things we do to try and control our emotions and feelings come in the form of detrimental habits, which are the very abusive relationships that keep us out of control.
Habits can often come in the form of what one thinks is needed. We feel in our mind’s eye that certain things, relationships, or experiences are essential needs. We have to have it!! When this happens, we can be led by what we feel more than by what is actually needed. Our bodies, spirits, and minds have at this point tied themselves to selfish desires, becoming our needs.
By making selfish desires our essential needs, we have made a choice to invite error and abuse to become a part of who we are.
In this danger zone of desired essential and selfish needs, we are blind! We can not see what is truly important because what we desire may not be what is best for us. This can keep us from being open and progressing to the next stages of life that will bring forth change and transformation.
Change and transformation can come in the form of true love, acceptance, peace, forgiveness, acknowledgement, joy, faith, discipline, honesty, and determination, to name a few. It also comes in the form of being okay with making mistakes, imperfection, and most importantly, taking care of oneself.
How we see ourselves, often comes from how others see us, because the relationships in our lives bear a weight and witness, reflective of who we are. Then we must ask ourselves who or what are we in relationship with and what does it say about us. These relationships affect the people we are and they also are very telling of what or who we need to be needed by.
Is it a relationship, your body, your mind, a spirit, addiction, people, things, habits?!…the list goes on. Only you and God know what you are dealing with. If you are open, God can be a healing light in this dark tunnel of an abusive relationship.
"Some sat in darkness and deepest gloom, imprisoned in iron chains of misery. They rebelled against the words of God, scorning the counsel of the Most High. That is why he broke them with hard labor; they fell, and no one was there to help them. “ LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He led them from the darkness and deepest gloom; he snapped their chains. Let them praise the LORD for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. For he broke down their prison gates of bronze; he cut apart their bars of iron." (Psalms 107:10-16 New Living Translation)