"Life just sucks right now!"
Have you ever said those words or heard them shouted from your spouse? Yesterday morning, a conversation about groceries with my husband turned into an argument about his feelings of inadequacy and failure. He sped off down the road after screaming those words from the car and I didn't get to talk to him the whole day while he was at work.
We've been living in a very low spot financially for a while now, and in this season the enemy has occasionally used this fact to convince my husband that he isn't enough for our family. He's spoken countless lies into my husband's ear telling him that he isn't a good enough provider, and that the choices he's made for our family were mistakes.
When my husband left yesterday, I spent the greater part of two hours crying. Knowing that he was feeling unworthy and that he felt all alone in it made me feel so helpless. But I am. There is nothing I can do apart from God to help him see his purpose. There is no way that my husband can see the Glory in all that he has without seeking The Lord's guidance.
I don't think the struggles that we face in our marriage are any different or more difficult than those that every couple faces. We've been in this tough spot for some time now, and the toll it is taking on my husband's heart is so hard to endure. As hard as this time has been and continues to be, I have seen so clearly the way that God created us for each other. When my husband is in despair, The Lord always gives me hope to share with him to fix His eyes on Jesus, and when I start to stumble, my husband reminds me of God's promises.
When I think about where we are and how it isn't what it could or should be, I think about where we were, and how for God has brought us! He is sovereign! He is faithful! And no matter how long it takes, He makes all things new.
Rest in the knowledge today that no matter what kind of chaos you are living in, there will come birth.