“You’re ugly.”
“You’re not good enough.”
“No one will ever want to be friends with you, or date you, because you aren’t pretty enough.”
“There’s nothing unique or special about you.”


These are all lies I used to tell myself on a daily basis, and I have a good feeling that I’m not the only woman who has said these things to herself. We all do it. We live in an incredibly vain world today that believes beauty is everything. It defines our worth, it gets us farther in our careers, it determines who we spend our time with. Beauty, in a lot of ways, controls everything. How often do we, or other people, tell us these things and then we actually believe them? Be honest. I remember one time I was walking around a mall and heard two guys grade me on a number scale simply based on how I looked. They gave me a whopping 6. In that moment, I actually believed it. There it was, the affirmation of what I already thought was true. I wasn’t unique or special. I was just mediocre. And that idea stayed with me and meshed with all the other lies I told myself. The lies eventually became so much of who I thought I was that I actually hated myself. It controlled every part of my life. I didn’t like hanging out with people or meeting new people because I didn’t feel good or pretty enough for anyone. I just simply hid. I had allowed my own self to be my own bully. And the sad part? I know I’m not the only woman who has done this to herself. Bullying is a tragic issue we have to deal with in the world today, and we don’t even realize that we are our own bullies most of the time.


I’m going to tell you what I learned on my own journey: beauty is defined within ourselves. It’s a mentality. I realized the only way to know the definition of beauty was by seeing my own beauty. And so a mental transformation began. I am sharing this story with you because I know I am not the only woman who struggles with this. In fact, I’m sure we all do. Here are some practical tips that actually helped me drastically transform and heal my mind from all the abuse I had done to it. I earnestly pray and believe these tips will help you truly know that you are worthy, beautiful, unique, and one of a kind.



·         Feed Your Mind. It’s been known that if we tell ourselves something enough, we start to believe it. So if we are telling ourselves lies, then we actually believe the lies. But when we tell ourselves truth and positive thoughts, well, that’s when the magic happens. You see, our minds are not so different from our physical bodies. Just like how we need nutrition to physically thrive and stay healthy, so does our minds. This was probably the most important lesson I learned. It may sound silly or ridiculous, but reading positive affirmations every day can help tremendously. Think of it as food for the mind. You simply write a positive thought down on a card or piece of paper and read it over and over until you remember it. Take it everywhere with you. If you are feeling particularly down, read it and remind yourself of it. You can find all kinds of affirmations on the Internet or you can make your own up based on what you need to hear that day, then read the affirmation in the morning and at night. It felt ridiculous when I first started reading them, but over time, I began to believe them and it made a huge difference in how I saw and felt about myself. Here are a couple examples of affirmations you can use:

-I forgive myself for not feeling beautiful, because I am beautiful.

-I approve of who I am, what I stand for, and what I believe in.

-No one else is exactly the same as me, and I am happy with who I am.


·         Align Your Mind. When you do start to tell yourself lies, catch them. Write them down somewhere and list them as lies. That way you can know exactly what lie you’ve told yourself and follow it up with a positive thought. Also, stop comparing yourself with others. Instead of concentrating on what others have that you don’t, focus on what you have that they don’t. This will remind you of how truly unique you are.


·         Remember This. God made you this way. He created the entire universe and how it works, so if he designed you to look the way you do, it’s an honor. He orchestrated every inch of your personal design, from your eye color to your finger print. He gave it all to you for you to delight in. So don’t allow yourself to see it as anything less than what it is. God created the universe, and it was good. He created you, and believes you are good. Shouldn’t you feel the same?


Beauty is defined within ourselves and how we believe it to be. When we start to tell ourselves every day that we are beautiful and unique creatures, we will believe it. We may not believe it right away, but sure enough it’ll happen. We are the apples of His eye, and He wants nothing more than for us to believe it too.

 So just remember: what you tell yourself is what you will believe. Fill your mind with truth and beauty, and soon enough you won’t just believe it, you’ll radiate with it.





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About the Author :

Ashlyn is a small town girl with a big heart for family, laughter, and all things beautiful. This history nerd enjoys taking walks, yoga, delicious food, and of course, fashion and beauty. She desires most to see a world where women have true and deep relationships with themselves through Christ.