Searching For the One
Have you ever had those days where you have a million different thoughts and ideas about where your life is "supposed" to be and what you "should" be doing based on your timing, rather than God’s timing?
A few months ago, June 1, 2014 to be exact, I renewed my personal relationship with Christ. Before renewing my personal relationship with Christ, I have to be honest, life was rough. I was depending on myself to put me where I felt I needed to be in life. I had to rely on my own strength to see me through the goals I wanted to accomplish like eating healthy and exercising. I was trying to trudge through life and was coming up short, instead of living a full life, I was beating myself down and I constantly felt as if something was “missing.” Yet, I didn’t know what it was exactly. I decided to keep searching for whatever it was. I searched at the gym. I found nothing. I searched in trying to open a boutique even though I knew in my heart God hadn’t called me to do that. In that also, I found nothing. I ran from idea to idea, ambition to ambition. Still I came up short.
Finally, (thank God) I decided to take a long hard look at my life. I was unmotivated even a bit depressed and when I was truly honest, I had been that way for a long while. I took stock of where I was in my life and when I settled my mind and assessed fully I realized why I had felt so restless and why my life seemed more dull. I hadn’t been praying, writing in my journal regularly, and I hadn’t been to church. I asked myself why? Then I saw it, clear as ever, it was because I started using Sunday as my "cleaning" day. After these "cleaning" days I felt so tired and empty I barely had energy to think. I thought, “Okay everything is spotless now I should be able to rest easy.” But that was not the case! Jesus was missing. I was neglecting my faith. I hadn’t done it on purpose but I'd slacked on my prayers and personal communion with the Lord.
I realize now how much God means to me and how much I love the Spirit and how much I need the spirit moving in my life daily. It hit me. . .BAM! I don't want... I need to be at His feet constantly. I have to feel close to Him and His word. I cannot live my life without His love. If things in your life seem empty, dull, or unsatisfying and the entertainment of the world leaves you drained, turn to Christ focus on Him and I promise you will be whole again. I have a lot of work to do but I am getting there. No matter how busy we get, we must realize that our life’s purpose and all our energy and strength are gifted to us from the Lord once we acknowledge His kingdom.
Be blessed, and be a blessing.