I have always felt that I have to have enough of something left over for me
The things I believed were my liberty became the bounds that began to cover me
I never realized that I was chained upon a thrown of enslavement
Even though I was no longer surrounded by the abuse, I still became the abuser
I created a cage that I would soon dwell in
The cage was a sound and sturdy construct of words and voices, creating invisible bars around my heart
Soon, things that were once within my grasp, seemed so far away, developing a distance that kept me isolated and continued to magnify with growth through time
I felt myself at one point, straining to reach my freedom just beyond the cage bars
The tips of my fingers could feel the warmth of it skin
I thought to myself, freedom, I feel that you are near, if only I could reach the key that would release me
I slowly pulled my arm back into the cage, clasping my hands to pray, asking the Lord if He would spare my life
I said, Lord, I am hungry, trapped, and have nothing to eat
Lord would please unlock this cage so that I can be free
He said, the bars that you speak of have not been built by me, though I create boundaries to protect you, you have designed your own fortress that has been used by enemy
Just take a look down, right into your hand, you have always had the key.
"Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord," (Romans 6:19-23 New Living Translation).
Sometimes we do not realize as Christians, that we are holding the key to our freedom. We often try to fill empty voids believing that we have been deprived by our past in many significant ways; though this may be true to some degree.
This deprivation creates idols that we look to more than we seek God. This puts us in a position where we end up doing things for our own glory so that we receive love and acceptance the way that we want.
I am learning continuously that the only true fulfillment is in Christ, because other than that, we end of trapped in our own snare.
Seek to glorify God in all that you do rather than doing things unto your own glory.
"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God," (1 Corinthians 10:31 New Living Translation).