My Heart's Anthem
A teacher of mine shared a really awesome thought that I would like to share with you: “That which does not worship, trips us up.” The entire class flipped out when he said this. It was not that we had not heard something to this degree before, but I think that the entire class had a visual of what this looked like. I definitely got a picture in my mind and it was very powerful. Internally, our wires can get crossed and something beautiful can be attached to something negative. I have asked God at times to do some serious spiritual surgery on me because I knew that something was off within. I would say, "Lord, I pray that you are ordering my steps and that your eternal craftsmanship is shaping every organ that I have within for your glory."
I have to be real with myself and acknowledge that I have done or been involved in certain things in life that have bent me out of shape. Our development and ways of communicating with others in the past can surface and become the outline of the choices we make today. We form our own theories about life based on these experiences, and they can become so engrained within us that we believe everyone has to live by them. Many times we try to maintain what we have established, even when it is wrong.
Other areas of our lives can become stressful because we try to uphold a way of living that might not be healthy and can stress the people around us out as well. Though I believe there is pride and a standard that we try to hold on to that may eventually corrupt us, I also believe that there is an emotional attachment; something that is very near and dear to our hearts. If not, then why else would we hold on to it so tightly?
God may be trying to set you apart for something great, but you may be refusing the invitation because you have decided that what you are holding onto is so much more important. There may be a relationship or relationships that God wants to restore, but because you think that vulnerability equates with weakness, you are unwilling to relent and get the healing that you long for.
I will admit that I have done this countless times and it definitely prevented people from getting closer to me because I wanted to be in control and have a hold on the relationship my way and based on my timing. But ladies, it is not about me or you; it is about God. We are doing more damage to ourselves inside that could be having an effect on our physical health.
We deny the sufficiency of Christ when we make every effort to hold on to the problem rather than letting Him be the solution. Everyone is not going to understand what you are going through and there will be family members, friends, colleagues, and more who may mistreat you, deny that they have hurt you, and when you try to discuss it with them they may say, “Why are you still on that, just get over it, that was years ago?” This can be hurtful, especially when you are trying to get the restoration that you need and others seem to think it is insignificant. Guess what? They may never change, but your life is not based on what they decide- it is based on the plans that God has for you.
What we do not realize is that these situations only make us stronger. Do not let your heart become hardened and keep God knocking at the door as a result of it. God can get to the core of the damage that has been done and restore you. So, let Him.
I have been writing these articles since the start of this year, and I am not going to tell you that every one of them has been the greatest because I am not perfect; and sometimes I am not on point, or I have been distracted, but I will say that I have given the very best I had each time. I have a lot going on in my life right now and I know that my family understands. They encourage me and let me know how much they love me and how proud of they are of all that I do, but there have been times when it has been said to me, “You should write another article like the first one you did, that one was the best,“ or “The articles are getting to be a bit monotonous.”
Now I know that this was not said to hurt me, and it may be true to some degree. We all have things that we need to grow in daily, and if this was a year ago, I probably would have been angry and upset because of how I believe others critiques of me have shaped my life, but today I hear it, take it into consideration, and try to do my best moving forward. Some people’s opinions and advice can be beneficial, and I had to learn this with time; but others can do more harm than good and should be thrown out.
I do not get everything right and there will be things that will trip me up, and it can end up becoming a stumbling block that stifles my life of worship in Christ. I cannot control some things that will happen but what I can do, thankfully, is honor God with my life. Everyone will not understand, call me crazy, and I may be ridiculed for it, but I know what God has done and I know who He is in my life. No one can take that from me. So while I am here, I am going to worship God with my life.
“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s,“ (Psalm 103:1-5, English Standard Version).
God is gracious, and if you are here another day, even through your anger and frustration, you should give Him praise.