How Can I Enjoy Being Single?

To some, this is a piece of cake, but for others, when you desire a husband and have been waiting for a long time, it can easily become a stumbling block in your relationship with the Lord.

A few weeks after I got saved, God told me that I was going to get married “soon”. Bear in mind that I was 19 years old, and had no intentions of getting married until I was at least 30. Needless to say, I freaked out.

Fast forward two years, I met my husband and got married after going through a heart-transforming journey that prepared me for him. My journey had no shortage of emotional days. For you, meeting your husband might not have taken that long, or it might not be happening so quickly, and the latter can bring about much discontentment. So, what do you do on those days when you are unhappy with being single? Here are a few things that I did that worked when I felt unhappy or lonely and helped me to really enjoy being single.

Make Jesus Your Number One Desire

This may sound cliche, but this is really so important. The most important thing, whether married or single, is to put Jesus first. To find our joy, peace and contentment and hope in Him. Sadly, if we cannot be happy with only Jesus while single, we will never be happy in a marriage either. Your husband will disappoint you, upset you and have his own “off” days – neither of you will be without flaw – and when that happens, you will realize more than ever that you need a more secure source of hope and strength. I used to spend endless hours on Kingdom-based activities such as studying the Word; listening to sermons relevant to my season; serving in my church and throwing myself into any volunteer project I could find. I made sure that I did everything as if unto the Lord Himself. I mingled with like-minded singles who loved Jesus, and made sure that I went out by myself regularly to enjoy my “alone-time” with the Lord while it lasted. I cannot tell you how fulfilling that is and how much one grows, it truly is something to experience for yourself. Always remember that God desires to be our Number One, He does not want to come second to whatever desires we have. However, He also wants us to enjoy each season and be content in Him (Psalm 37:4, Matthew 6:33, Philippians 4:4-14).

Realize That You Are Not Abnormal for Having “Down” Days

Through my journey, God has taught me that just as with other things that we pray for, we will have moments – or even days – when we feel like giving up. The most important thing, is that we get back up, put our faith and joy in Jesus and continue trusting in Him. We must constantly remind ourselves of the Lord’s faithfulness and goodness, and let that be a motivator to also be faithful towards Him (Isaiah 40:31, Romans 10:11, Numbers 23:19).

Live Out Your Faith Practically and Enjoy Your Singleness

Show God how ready you are for this new season in your life, and have fun with it! For example, when I was single, I started cooking for myself more and started paying more attention to the smaller details of my personal hygiene and appearance. When I was busy doing it, I would tell the Lord, “Lord, I am doing this in preparation for my husband.” When I went shopping for myself, I would also go to the men’s division and would often imagine what it would be like to shop for my husband. I would familiarize myself with men’s products and interests, or ask my male friends about a man’s lifestyle. I would ask advice from married women, and I would watch them as they went about their daily lives with their husbands, allowing them to train me. It was so much fun! Also, verbalize your faith. Tell people about your future husband, even if they think you are crazy. Exchange chats with fellow singles about your future husband, your purpose and what God has been revealing to you about him lately (Titus 2:4, Hebrews 11:11).

Seek Knowledge and Wisdom

Finally, keep in mind that your wedding is the start of a life-long journey with your husband, and how you go through singleness will stay with you for years after you have become someone’s wife. The choices you make as a single woman—good and bad— will either enable or disable you in your marriage. Build your knowledge and continuously seek the Lord regarding your season, this will help you a lot in your marriage. Many marriages fail, not because people no longer love each other, but because a couple lacks knowledge of how to deal with life together (Hosea 6:4).

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About the Author :

Danelle Vingtas, wife and mother, is the Founder of South African based young women’s ministry, Proverbs 31 Sisterhood. Through her testimony she is determined to show the love of Jesus to the young women of this generation.