I teach dance every week and sometimes I have a ton of things going on that are pulling and tugging on me, emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Many times I have to teach a class and push beyond all that I am feeling or warring against and lean upon God. 

This is definitely one of those seasons. I teach self-care in all that I do but I do not always take care of myself. I think God keeps pushing healing to the forefront of my life because it is something He wants for not only my life but for all of children. 

One of my coworkers, as I listed the many things I have to do weekly, says to me, "Francine, if you do not remove some things from your schedule, you are going to burnout." I thought, Lord that is so funny because it is what I am preaching and teaching all the time," and it is something I have experienced first hand.

Being burnt out made all of the endeavors that I was passionate about seem empty and heartless. The love disappeared over the years and I did not want to have anything to do with what I enjoyed most. I have been away from these things for a season and now God is blessing me with new opportunities but I must remember to handle them with His care. I see the build up happening already but I realized that it was not just about all that I am doing, it is also about managing my mental health. 

There were insecurities, emotions and feelings stuffed down into my body and hushed over a long period of time. This left me in a place where I could not see things for what they really were because I was making everything about me and how it made me feel.

My pastor said, "Perception can be more powerful than reality." Sometimes what we perceive is not reality but because of how we interpret it, it becomes our experience. Insecurities or hurts that are not dealt with can be our lens and how we view those around us. Even the ones closest to us can look like the enemy because we have transferred one hurtful relationship or experience onto another; and every time you look at this other person or situation, there may be jealousy, anger, frustration, hurt, pain, rage, and more that comes forth. Sometimes we do not even want to deal with what we are feeling and what is coming up so we stuff it back down.

I have had friends treat me a particular way, not solely based on what I did but because what I did reminded them of someone else. They have even called it out before, and I must admit that I am guilty of this myself. We do not see how much baggage we bring to a relationship until the mirror image of it is staring us in the face. 

Many times we want to blame the person standing in front of us, though they may have done something to us but we also have to recognize that we are a reflection of all that has happened to us up until that very point. 

So this one person and one relationship cannot take on all the blame for all of hurt we have experienced because there is a trajectory of dysfunction that took place even before we were born; and possibly throughout your life that got you to the point where you are today. I am not to disregard anything that happened to you but I want you to see that there is a pattern.

There is a pattern that may be prevalent in all your relationships that you do not recognize and have not been able to see all this time. You cannot change how people treat you but you can change how you respond to them. 

How long are we going to continue to place the blame before we decide to move forward? Yes, healing takes times but hopefully you are evolving with each step you take. 

There may be some serious spiritual strongholds keeping their icy cold grip around the neck of your life, choking you to death. 

Do not let your pride keep you silent. You are making it harder on yourself, and eventually there will be nothing left that you carnally rely to uphold you; we have to lean upon the Lord. 

Only the love of Christ can free you. Ask the Lord to set you free because this is the season where Jesus is going to ask you if you want to be healed. Are you ready to take up your bed and walk after all these years? It is time to let go of the excuses.

One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” 

The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked. (John 5:5-9, ESV).



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About the Author :

Francine E. Ott is truly thankful to have a relationship with God and is seeking Him daily for guidance and any opportunities to walk closer with Him in truth and love. Francine is a choreographer/dancer, teacher, and soon to be counselor who has a heart to see God's transforming power, renew, restore, and heal the minds, souls, and bodies of people's lives.