Out of Focus
I sat in the Women’s Center lobby patiently waiting to be called back for test results by the technician.
The past two weeks had been very stressful. I had just turned 40 the week before, and I had just seen my doctor for a yearly visit which resulted in my first routine mammogram.
The results of the mammogram were back within 24 hours and I was called because I needed further testing as soon as possible.
This was not what I wanted to hear.
It was bad enough that I had just turned 40, a life event which I had fought the past year. I held onto my 30’s with white knuckled fists.
I was just not ready to grow old. Forty meant so many changes; children growing up and moving on, parents growing older, and these were things that I was just not ready for.
And now my health was in question.
The two days that followed my doctor’s phone call, I spent in prayer. I was in a constant awareness of my mortality. I tried to be brave, but I was scared. I was not prepared for a battle, nor was this was not a battle I wanted to fight.
When you are faced with uncertainty, you start reflecting, and you begin to realize just how far the Lord has brought you so far.
I didn’t grow up in a Christian home. I was a rebellious teenager, and eventually became a young wife and mother.
I met Christ at the age of 22, and he has continued to reveal himself to me through challenges and blessings.
Twenty three years of marriage and six children later, I can see His hand in my life.
We are just here on this earth for a short time, but spend eternity with Him. When you put that into perspective, it is easier to face storms.
Listen to Me, O house of Jacob, And all the remnant of the house of Israel,
Who have been upheld by Me from birth, Who have been carried from the womb:
Even to your old age, I am He, And even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry, and will deliver you. (Isaiah 46:3-4 NKJV)
His word gives us peace and calms our anxious hearts. This scripture was just what I needed.
I’m reminded that He is my Creator.
He has been with me since birth and will be with me as I grow older.
He was carrying me now in this dark time, and I will be delivered.
I can fully rest in Him.
I was finally called back by the technician. After a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound, it was determined I had a benign fluid cyst, just something to keep an eye on.
All praise to the Father! Jesus wants us to come to Him with everything.
While I am sure many women experience the same diagnosis, this was new to me.
Sometimes we get out of focus in life, and circumstances happen to make us turn back to our focal point. We let daily routines and challenges take our eyes off of the One who cares about our smallest details.
When we lose focus, it allows fear, doubt, and insecurity an opportunity. It doesn’t mean we will not have trials, but they are so much easier to go through when we are being carried by our Lord through them!